Judgement - something we all do, it is human nature, but add it to social media, and it is a true recipe for disaster and another reason parenting is getting harder!
This blog has been sparked by a post put up by Helen Flanagan who posted on her Instagram that she was weaning, shock, horror her baby is only 5m! She was inundated with others opinions on what an awful mother she was (READ IT HERE ). Some of the comments are totally shocking!
Now the problem here is social media, most of what was said, would not have been said had those sad little people been stood in front of Helen, but behind their keyboards, they feel safe.
This blog is an extreme, but it highlights our judgments on others and how unhelpful they are.
I learnt from a very wise woman (Jo Gee from Mummas Wellbeing) that judgements are normal, part of the human make up. However, the more we judge others, the more we feel judged, and this is so, so true! I catch myself now, if I find myself judging someone else for a parenting choice, or lifestyle choice, I tell myself it is their life, their decision, and it has nothing at all to do with me! I don’t know what is going on behind those closed doors, I don’t know what other factors influenced their decision and quite frankly it is none of my business. The more you do this, the more you realise actually it really doesn’t affect you, and you do in turn feel less judged!
What I find even more infuriating is the “experts” chucking their two pennies in and throwing around the “scientific research” element into it! On this particular post, there were comments about the research into early weaning, how the “guidelines” are now 6m (one mum - “so disappointed you are advocating ‘early’ weaning”), however there is emerging research into early weaning as a preventive to some food allergies. You will find this supposed “research” into anything if you look hard enough! The point is there really isn’t a right or wrong! We have “guidelines” and we have reasons and research into those guidelines, but they are just that GUIDELINES. We do our own research, we trust our instincts and we make our choices.
If a mum CHOOSES to sleep train, wean, breastfeed, bottle feed, use routine it is HER decision!! It has NOTHING to do with you. These are CHOICES and they impact no one else. So if they aren’t your choice, that is fine, but they are hers, so leave her be and accept it.
There is no right or wrong in parenting, and historically we wouldn’t have had so many opinions into our own parenting styles. But thanks to social media we do, so we have to live with that. The way we do that is by trusting in our instincts and forging our own path, because no one else has walked in our shoes, we are unique and what works for us, wont necessarily work for others.
Use this rule for all your parenting and lifestyle choices, this is your life Mummas, you do what you got to do. YOU GOT THIS