What I wanted was a family, children, babies! I wanted the weekend walks in the park, pushing my gurgling, bouncing, bonny baby, holding the hand of my husband! I wanted pub lunches where the baby would sit quietly whilst hubby and I reminisced about how big said baby was getting, how life was passing us by so quickly, we must cherish it!
Preparing for Birth? Why do we need to do it? Women have been giving birth since time immemorial! However, life is changing, back in the old days, even only as far back as the 40s, 50s, 60s, we didn't have the knowledge or the social media presence to allow a good and bad story to travel around the world so quickly.
I have spent another 15mins (at least) “enjoying” a rant with my wonderful Midwife friend! We were ranting about antenatal provision for you mums, the reason we are ranting, is because we are seeing women STILL coming through to us who have had either crap, wrong or totally misguided information at their antenatal class.
Parenting in my opinion is hard, and it is getting harder…not because parenting itself is getting harder, but the society we live in is making it harder! We know too much, we are all trying to find reasons and diagnosis for everything, we blame ourselves for everything. Human beings are incredibly complex creatures, we can’t put one behaviour or attribute to a particular thing that we as parents did…for example, I blame myself for my daughter getting eczema, in my head, it was obviously something I did when she was a baby. Was it because I introduced formula too early? Or because I used too many Baby Products on her from birth? My boy has a stammer, I have been offered “parenting” workshops, which immediately, in my head means it was caused by something I had done! You need to have a pretty thick skin nowadays to be a parent!
This is one of hardest questions faced by a new mum, why is my baby crying? There are lots of reasons a newborn baby cry’s, in this one I want to explore reflux.
Reflux in babies is baby bringing up milk frequently, or silent reflux where a baby will suffer the effects of the milk regurgitation but don’t actually bring it out.
It is a relatively common and usually occurs because baby’s food pipe (oesophagus) is still developing. Babies usually grow out of reflux by the time they turn 1.
So much bloody stuff is needed for a baby? Really? Do you really need all this stuff?? Seriously, no you don’t!! There has been an explosion of baby paraphernalia in the last 15-20yrs.
The baby market is a multi BILLION dollar industry! The more “stuff” we think we need for our babies, the less we trust our instincts and rely on "us" to give our babies what they need.
So what do you actually need to buy? The below is based on my own opinions and experience, working with thousands of parents postnatally and my own three children.
I have been running antenatal and baby classes for over 10 years now.
I had the awful news just under a year ago that one of our mums had taken her own life after suffering from depression. She had been taking classes with us for almost a year and I had had regular chats with her. I had no idea how much she was suffering. I was shocked to the core to hear the news that she taken her life leaving behind a little girl not yet 18 months old.
I’ve said it before, I will say it again, birth is bloody important!! It’s not how you birth that is important, it is how you feel about how your birth went that is important!
There will always be those of us who aren’t able to have a straight forward birth, and we need to be making sure that we still feel empowered, understanding, accepting and confident about how we birth.
I thought a while about the title of this blog…my initial title was “How to survive the 4th Trimster” but, I work so hard to try and ensure parents actually enjoy the early days and weeks, why write a blog suggesting you just have to get through it? I LOVED the 4th trimester, but have to be honest and say not so much with first baby, a bit more with second and really loved it with my boy!! Not because he was my boy, but because I learnt to go with it, to relax, to stop worrying about “bad habits” and to enjoy him, because in the blink of an eye it is over!
In this weeks blog I have chosen to write about the out breath used in second stage labour. This topic has come up this week in classes, as we had a birth story where a mum was told not to use the out breath. As this is one of the techniques we encourage in our Daisy Birthing classes, I felt some explanation was needed as to the importance of breathing in labour.